The Downside of Passion

The word 'passion' is probably one of the most beaten paths of our time. It is used and, most of all, abused to randomly describe or express any strong emotion. Especially when presenting ourselves to other people, the word 'passion' is used quite often. Anything to make sure that we do not look boring in any way...

I try to avoid using the word. It is difficult though, as I love passion. Passion in its pure form is beautiful to me. The passion (love, affection, eroticism) between two people. People that handle things in life with passion (engagement, spirit, enthusiasm, verve, elan), instead of just letting days pass by. A great song, sung with passion (zealousness, impetus). A good story, told with passion (excitement). I love Italy because there is passion (spirit, liveliness, zealousness)! Passion is life to me. Life is passion.

What do you get when you put two passionate people together as a couple? For sure, a lot of energy! They will probably have lively discussions. Laugh like crazy together. Create something. Flirt. Enthuse each other. Dance like madmen. Stimulate each other. Get drunk. Challenge each other to extremes. Make crazy love. They will push each others limits. Passionate people are usually optimistic, sanguine, cheerful, competitive, enthusiastic, vivacious and zealous. Everything in top gear.

However, that's the bright side, because the higher the highs, the lower the lows. They can passionately linger in grieve, complain, hold grudges against someone, be 'passionately' lazy or totally down. And all of that with the same intensity as the fun things... As much as two passionate people can reinforce each other, they can also destroy each other with an equal force. It's the other side of passion. The downside. Just think of it whenever you read the word... Love, M.

Publishers and Latin Lovers

Three things get pretty clear when you visit the websites of publishers:

1. Don't be impatient: your manuscript will end up on the bottom of a pile of hundreds of other manuscripts and it can take months and months before an editor even takes the time and effort to read it
2. Don't get your hopes up too high: presuming that the publisher likes your manuscript, it still has to fit into one of the funds
3. Don't show any assertiveness: don't call us, we'll call you!

Not very encouraging for a novice writer... Last week I got the name of an editor within a reputable publishing house through the sister of a colleague of a friend of mine. Are you still with me...? As I was in a bold mood, I decided to give her a call right away. To my surprise I had a great, very relaxed conversation with this editor. After listening patiently to my story, she immediately requested me to send her everything I had written so far, including the extra scenes! Within 3-4 weeks I will have her feedback by email, she promised me. Even though she still has to read it (and, most of all: like it!), she had made my day already! What a great start!

Because of the DSK-affair, there is a lively discussion going on within the French media at the moment: do they need to report about the private lives of public figures or not? So far, no one did. In a 'Latin Lover' country like France, flirtatious behavior of powerful men has always been generally - not to mention proudly - accepted. A Latin man is made to seduce women, period. However, where does the 'art of seduction' end and does harassment start? There is a thin line, between innocent flirting and touching and obtrusiveness...

The above shows a big similarity with a phenomenon I have described in my book. When a married Italian man has a mistress, no one - apart from the wife - will probably blink an eye. There is an almost silent, general acceptance, like men can't help themselves being born in a culture of machismo. Even though the younger generation seems to deal with this a bit differently, having an 'amante' is still very common in Italy. For me it is just one of the many factors that makes the Italian culture intriguing, for numerous Italian wives it is a pain in the neck... Love, M.

Una Donna Per Bene

While everybody was out enjoying the wonderful spring sun (it has been extremely warm for this time of the year), I have been indoors writing, writing, writing this last month to make my deadline. After all, I had promised my friend a real manuscript to hand to a publisher. The first part of my book! So I wrote, read and rewrote. And wrote, read and rewrote. And wrote... Anyway, I guess you get the point by now. I have even been too busy to update this blog!

And then... a phone call from my Italian friend. Her mother had passed away, at age 86. Even though I had met her only once, I had a strong feeling of involvement. Despite of her age, she was still a goodlooking, very sophisticated lady. 'Una donna per bene' you would say in Italian. A woman from a good family. Refined. Classy. She is one of the characters in my book. After the news, I wasn't able to write for a day or two. I couldn't 'touch' her character in the book. It felt like I had to let the book rest for a few days, just to honor her. So that's what I did.

But as always... life goes on. Every now and then, I give part of what I have written to a good friend of mine to judge it. She is one of the few people that I can trust in this process on being completely honest with me. She has told me before to rephrase things or to 'sharpen' the story here and there. After a few days she sent me a text message:

'I am deeply impressed with what I have read this time. Please finish the story soon! You can call yourself a writer now.'

Wow, what a pleasant surprise that was! The next challenge is now to find a publisher that shares her opinion... Love, M.